


Fictober Shorts: Done

by Lyrishadow



Series: Fictober 2020 Shorts [19]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27131047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrishadow/pseuds/Lyrishadow
Summary: Prompt19: “I cant do this anymore”Fandom: Mass EffectTitle: DonePair: Egan Shephard / Kaidan AlenkoRating: TWarnings/Tags Angst
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: Fictober 2020 Shorts [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977133
Kudos: 3





	Fictober Shorts: Done

"Egan?" They were the only ones in the CIC after Virmire. Egan had not moved, the loss of Ashley felt raw like a knife to the gut.  
"I’m ok." He lied Trying to pull himself from the overwhelming crushing feeling trapping him in place.  
"After all this time, you think I cant tell you are lying?" Kaidan sounded angry, and maybe that was fair "You should have left me.."  
"No." Egan spun around to face him his eyes flashed with his own anger, his own remorse. " You, I couldn’t leave behind, not ever."  
" but Ash…"  
" She deserved better than me." Egan replied finally " as a commander and friend."  
"Egan I’m sorry." Kaidan said as he stood and moved to his friend, taking his arm he guided him to a seat." Sit before you fall down."  
As Kaidan’s hands let go of him Egan felt that sense of loss.  
" I can’t do this anymore." Egan Shephard lowered his head and buried it in his hands, guttural sounds coming from him as his shoulders shook.  
Kaidan stared at him in a bewildered way, in all the years he had known him since he was a kid on the streets, he had never seen him so broken. He waited, sitting with his friend, and letting him be free to grieve.  
"Shepard I don't know what to say." After ten minutes he murmured this, though he wasn’t sure that Egan was okay, he had stopped sobbing.  
"I… just…" Egan drew a deep breath " I’m sorry. I.. It’s everything, not just Ash. I just want… I don’t know.. Things to fall into place without losing everyone.”  
“I know.” Kaidan replied, “I’m sorry for what I said, it was… uncalled for.”  
“Your grief is valid Kaidan, but even logically I would have still saved you.” Egan sighed “My brain still works on two levels you know.”  
“Heh, here I thought it was just beer and work.”  
“That too.” Egan forced a half-grin “I was no rough thug when I was in the gang, let alone after when I was studying.”  
“Yeah, sorry.” Kaidan looked at his hands “We lost contact, and I missed having that beer. I went sometimes and just sat there looking over the city.”  
“Missed the beer… or missed me?”  
“You are doing that thing again, I don’t know what you want to hear Shepard.”  
“Nah it’s fine. I’m not trying to put you on the spot. I just…” Egan stopped short.  
“I did miss you, I lost the only person who made me laugh when I first got back.”  
“I figured as much.” Egan nodded “Thanks Kaidan, for talking me down from being overwhelmed.”  
“No Shepard, that’s what friends do.” Kaidan nodded to his commanding officer.  
There are no regs that forbid you from being friends with your commanding officer. Egan had said when they first boarded.  
“Just promise me that you are okay?” Kaidan looked up at him quietly “Losing Jenkins, Ash… that was not your fault, pin it on Saren where it belongs. Make it count for them.”  
“I think you are right.” Egan nodded “Saren is responsible. That goes the same for you too Kaidan, you don’t shoulder Ash’s death like that, you fight to make it mean something.”  
“Yes Sir!” Kaidan saluted.  
“Dismissed.”Egan shook his head and swatted Kaidan’s arm.


End file.
